Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize