don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
