All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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