I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I need to calm my uterus...
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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