so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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