i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
