I think I can smell my own vagina right now
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
