i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
