i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
