You surviving the open bar?
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I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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