you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
