I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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