$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
