but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
you had me at cake vodka
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Randomize
