his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
