he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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