Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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