my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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