its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
