it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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