i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
