Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
