apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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