i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
