Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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