oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
