I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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