The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
the room spins SO much faster in panama
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
