I have demons in me.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
