You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
