I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize