Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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