I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
