OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
But theres a keg here and me gusta
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
