she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
