Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
