My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
