i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
