after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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