Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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