Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i just had sex bonerless
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
