What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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