i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
