Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
