why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
