as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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