I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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