He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
