i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Randomize