he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I am available for nakedness
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
