don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
