who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
