I'm lost and stupid without you.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
a search helicopter?!
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
