i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
