R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
