So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
smell my finger.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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