I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
