i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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